my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
