In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
please don't ironically join a cult
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