she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
