I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
