my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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