i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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