So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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