you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
