she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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