it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
