Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I need a beard to bite.
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