I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
