So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
