You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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