how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
