and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
