I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Drake has all the answers
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize