just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
