YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
No subtext here. People are naked.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
