Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize