I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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