all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My vagina is very pro this idea
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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