so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
