Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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