is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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