that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
