I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
