Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
