no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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