All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
