The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
