Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
