You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
i think my cat just said my name.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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