Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
