Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
