I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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