At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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