don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize