There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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