"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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