I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
