Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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