we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
