She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
