omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
You smell like stripper and shame
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
