ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
