he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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