I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
