you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
