Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Your penis caused this!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
