i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize