i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
