Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
