yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
