Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
