Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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