Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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